Sometimes my heart seems to be crying out to me and begging me for something that it needs. But, I seem to need an interpreter to understand what my inner self is searching for. Often I sit in my room listening to acoustic music and I hear something deep within me yelling at me, but I don't know what it is trying to say to me.

Each emotion known to humankind seems to be this emulsion within me. Mostly, I don't know what it is that I am feeling. I think it is anger mixed with sadness, or I just feel that I need to cry. However, I taught myself long ago not to cry. My life has come down to the point where I don't know how how to cry anymore.

The only identifiable emotions I feel anymore are anger and annoyance. There is no love, excitement, joy, melancholy. Feeling angry and annoyed all of the time is extremely unhealthy, but everything bothers me. Going to the store and going to work, eating, not eating, bathing, going to the movies. My heart I believe is trying to tell me what to do, but I just can't understand.

Right now as i am sitting here and writing these words, I am listening to Benjamin Costello's "Rewind" and I think that I should cry, I am feeling an emotion in my heart that I just don't know. Despite all of these markers I just seem to have no response- it is like I am dead inside...